Supreme Asshole

United States Supreme Court Justice Clarence “Long Dong” Thomas, arguably the least intelligent human ever to hold that vastly important position, spoke on Monday at Chapman University, revealing that he doesn’t even like the job he’s done so astonishingly poorly for the past 16 years.

“There’s not much that entices about the job,” Thomas said, during the question-and-answer session. “There’s no money in it, no privacy, no big houses, and from an ego standpoint, it does nothing for me.”

“I like sports,” Justice Thomas said. “I like to drive a motor home.” But serving on the nations highest court and sexually harrassing young, black, female coworkers doesn’t seem make the top of his list anymore.

“I’m honored to be a Supreme Court Justice, but I wouldn’t say I like it,” he summarized.

Justice Thomas and I finally agree on something. I haven’t liked him in the job either. There’s a perfect solution to our mutual dissatisfaction. He can resign (“high-tech quitting”) at any time. January 21, 2008 feels about right to me.

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